COUPLES

What to expect: A couple includes anybody in a committed relationship seeking help and guidance on how to navigate and strengthen their relationship. Couples typically come to therapy weekly or bi-monthly, for a period of 3-6 months, depending on the issues to be addressed. Individual therapy may be recommended to complement the couple's work.

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Do you feel like your relationship is at a standstill? Are you and your partner stuck in the same argument loop every week? Do you feel like you and your partner are drifting away? Do you desire more intimacy, better sex, or just sex at all? Have milestones in your life affected your relationship, leaving you feeling disconnected, like you barely know each other, or even, alone?

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Issues in a relationship don’t show up overnight. Couples don’t wake up one morning all of a sudden asking for a divorce. On average, research by John and Julie Gottman shows that couples wait an average of 6 years before seeking out couples counseling. That means that 6 years prior, partners started experiencing drift, resentment, contempt, and unresolved arguments. They were in denial about it at first. They hoped it would get better. Or due to other life priorities getting in the way, they were unable to carve time to address these issues until it became clear that there was a dire problem.

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Don’t be like the majority of couples who wait too long to work on themselves individually and on their relationship together. It’s best to be unsure about whether or not we have a “real problem” and talk it out right away, than to be on the brink of divorce and trying couples counseling as a “last ditch effort.” Research shows that couples who seek help proactively or at first notice of an issue have a better chance of making it through thick and thin, until “death do us part.”

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A note about partners contemplating divorce: if you feel like your marriage is on its last leg, couples counseling can still help create a space for you to make a decision, process that decision out loud with your partner, air out some resentments, and heal from them. Couples counseling can even help partners on the brink of a divorce reconnect and recommit to one another, given there are equal efforts on both sides to work on themselves and on the relationship.

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If you start noticing the following, don’t wait to seek help:

• Criticism, contempt, and stonewalling are frequent between you

• Blaming and finger pointing at your partner’s actions

• Defensiveness and inability to take responsibility for your actions

• Emotional and physical disconnection and distance; you feel like roommates

• Avoidant behaviors towards each other

• Any significant life transition that has had an impact on your relationship: getting married/remarried, moving to a new place, becoming parents, caring for elderly parents, death of a loved one

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With your eyes set on your values, and with commitment towards individual and together change, any situation can be improved. Our couples therapists, Jennifer Polizzi and Myriam Sanchez both work from an ACT perspective. They will teach you how to communicate your feelings and needs, and get what you want out of your relationship. They will help you identify unhelpful patterns of behavior and thought, and you will learn how to adopt new healthier ways of behaving and interacting instead. They will coach you on skills such as active listening, empathy, validation, conflict resolution, value-based action, and much more, all which will help transform and revitalize your relationship.

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If you are ready to bring your relationship to the next level, or back to how it used to be, contact us today for a free phone consultation. We would love to speak with you about how we can help reconnect and rekindle your love for one another.

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